Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Geneticist

            “Our guest tonight is a geneticist, whose work with Dr. Richard Dawkins on the future evolution of the “Selfish Gene” has caused quite a stir in the scientific world at large.  Doctor Iiieeeoooeee you have an interesting perspective on the future evolution of the human race, why don’t you explain it to our radio audience.”  The radio announce explained.

            “Thank you,” Dr. Iiieeeoooeee said, as he began explaining his theory.  “You see, the human race is still in the early stages of development in its evolution.  An indicator of this is the continuance of violence and stupidity, as humans continue to be motivated by their emotions rather than optimum health and well being of the whole.  We are all connected together, and whatever happens to the least of us, happens to the greatest.  Carl Marx had the right idea, but Communism is a futile attempt by humanity itself to correct its inconsistent proliferation of talent among its members.”

            Humanity is in stage 2 of its evolution and eventually we will enter stage 3.  When that happens, utopia will be realized, as war and crime become a thing of the past.  You’ve probably heard the controversy about how much of our brain that we use.  Some say we only use 10 percent, while others say 90 percent.  The truth of the matter is, the brain has the potential for exponential growth, within the size that it exists at right now.  That is because only a fraction of the possible connections are now in place, that allow it to operate at maximum efficiency.  When all the connections within the brain are made, it will transform the human species, until it becomes…”

            “Number 52,” the cab radio announced, as he turned the radio volume down to hear, “go get Angelo Delano, from the Elks.”

            “I confirm,” Trevor answered, as he drove to his destination and turned the radio back up. 

            “So when we consider the short time that the human race has been sentient, it is a relatively small amount of blood to pay for the process with.  Blood is always the required payment when it comes to evolution.  Cowards manipulate the stupid hero’s to fling their bodies on into the blood thirsty maw of evolution, until that day, when all the connections are made and the resurrection of the dead occurs and the living and the dead are united together.”

            “And now a word from our sponsor,” the radio show host announced, as a woman with a pleasant voice began to talk about taking a shamanic journey into Central America with some of the most metaphysically minded guru’s of the 21st century.  The first 12 callers would be included in an ancient psilocybin mushroom ceremony, while they stayed at their spiritual refuge in the jungles of Guatemala…

            Driver #52 had to help the elderly gentleman named Angelo Delano from the dance area of the club, to the cab, and collapse his walker and put it into the back seat.  Angelo lived in the retirement home on Lancaster, so Trevor proceeded there.  As they drove Angelo began to talk and tell his story.  It’s funny how people begin telling you about their life, as if it’s important to have proof that they existed by impressing others with their presence.

            Angelo was born in 1922 and grew up in a wealthy Italian family in New York City.  Even after the depression, his family prospered, until his family visited Sicily in the late 1930’s when he was 16.  Mussolini was in power and because of his family ties to the Mafia, which opposed II Duce.  He and his siblings were poisoned, but he and his older sister miraculously survived, while his younger brother died.

            When WWII began, Angelo enlisted in the US Army and after the Invasion of Africa and then Italy he was part of the allied forces, because of his bi-lingual skills as an Italian/English translator.  What he saw drove him to drink and by his own confession he was drunk during the entirety of his European service in WWII.  After he was discharged he quit drinking alcohol and has not had a drink to this day.  When he’s at the Elks he drinks coffee and dances by using his walker.

            After the war he married a girl that his parents did not approve of, so he moved as far away from them as he could, and ended up in Oregon, where he has lived since 1946.  He worked for the waterway department and knows every lake, river and every major body of water in the state of Oregon.  His wife passed away almost 10 years ago, and since then he has had a few girlfriends, but they have all died as well, so at this time Angelo is alone and waiting to die.

            After #52 dropped Angelo off, the next call he got was for Jim at Players Lounge.  Jim was a strange guy.  He took a taxi to and from the bar 3 times every day, at $15.00 a trip.  At first you would think that he was a drug dealer going home to fill orders and returning with them, but after you talked to Jim you realized that if he was a drug dealer, he had the best cover in the world, because he hardly ever said a word.  Once in a while Jim would talk about some subject, in a passionate manner, but usually he was reticent.

            For some reason today, Jim was ranting about why the “Octoberfest” was in September, so Trevor proceeded to explain the history to him.  “you see, in 1810, prince Leopold got married and they had a big celebration and that was the first “Octoberfest.”   After that they had it every year.  One of the reasons why it happened at that time was because, before refrigeration was discovered, beer could only be made when the weather was cold.  So the last month that it was made was in March.  Then in October they could begin making it again, so all the existing beer was drunk up.   The last batch made in March was at a higher alcohol content, so it would last longer.  “Octoberfest” was the year end blowout before the new stock hit the shelves.

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